So, the other day in my living room, I was having a conversation with two of my young male friends about love and dating when we all stumbled on a hot topic – hos a.k.a prostitutes, sluts, whores etc – and why most men, than women, seem to be labelled as such nowadays.
Both guys were quick to deny it. They claimed that no matter how many women a man sleeps with, it’s kind of his birth right to be actively more sexual than a woman. (Huh!?) They added that a man’s sexual life do not raise as many eyebrows as that of a woman’s because that’s how he’s been created.
When it came to married men cheating on their wives, one of the guys explained that “its cliché but it’s in a man’s DNA to cheat, he can’t do without that one act.” Even though both guys agreed that it’s wrong to cheat on your girlfriend, fiancé, wife, whether pregnant, barren, nagging or crippled, but sometimes it’s the women who push them into it. Wow!
So I asked, is it okay for a man – single or not – to have multiple relationships? I also wanted to know how men who jump from one woman to another are regarded amidst the boy gangs. Both guys had to choose their responses carefully before saying, “well…erm…it…it’s…we…we…we don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”
When a woman cheats or have multiple relationships, she’s called a slut. Even when she dates and dumps guys and moves on to another, she’s still labelled a ho. Worse of all, if she dates one friend after the other, the same guys consider her a cheap slut. But what about the guys who do the same damn thing! Are they King Kongs or hos?
I was reading a piece by Peter Birkenhead on Marie Claire magazine September 2008 issue and he said, women turn to want such men and other men want to be like them.
“I have nothing against a little good, clean ho-ing now and then. And everybody needs to be a bro once in a while. But bro-ing and ho-ing don’t mix,” he went on to write.
“Now every other magazine features another famous frat boy in flip-flops or bro in Bermudas with a starlet-of-the-week on his arm – bros who don’t seem to know the meaning, let alone the public-relations value, of shame. Theses bros are hos. They’re BroHos.” he added.
I felt really relieved to see that its another man calling out the porcine habits of these guys – Lance Armstrong, John Meyer and Tom Hardy and yes, you too!
Some of the guys I have met, who don’t only see themselves as “fine and famous” have continuously pushed the “refresh” buttons on their love lives, dating one girl after the other (it’s like a different girl every week) and then either post about them on their social media or discuss their sexual activities with their friends.
It’s not too long, women considered these same men as the ladies’ men, Romeos, Casanovas, bad boys, gigolos – guys who just rely on their “celebrity statuses”, certain roguish charm, along with an arcane skill like discretion and love for being shirtless – as good for nothing. But its also fair to say, the same women long for them in their beds and others even go to the extent of believing they can tame these guys, maybe as an ultimate alpha-girl achievement.
Well, I want to think that a guy with enough self-discipline to live his life with dignity might be able to occasionally say no to a cupcake, no matter how lovely it looks. All I am trying to say is that guys, please have small self-respect. Try to keep your pants on, zips up and shirts on. What’s with the ‘Tour de Your Pants’ anyways?
Note: These are my thoughts, come at me if you want but also read between the lines and see if I am right.
Joan
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