Joan On Sex: 5 Don’ts After Sex On The First Date

A boy meets a girl and the girl likes the boy and boom, sex happens! But where do we get it all wrong? Today, I am breaking down some of the things you should not do after sex on the first date.

Having sex with someone on the first date or day you met is not shameful but please it does not mean you both are expected to date or dive into a serious relationship right away. It simply means sex happened and that’s it. Do not go on claiming a romance which may NEVER EVER happen. Then you get hurt or start hating on someone for “using” you.

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Most times, my fellow ladies fall prey to this and it’s sad to see them expect so much or even anticipate larger than life romantic affairs when it was just sex. Some even start posting cryptic love and relationship messages on social media or begin telling their close friends how you have found “the one”. Wake up!

1. Don’t say “I Love You”

When sex happens on the first date, both the boy and the girl should avoid the three letter words – I Love You. These words suddenly become the most dangerous words when said at the wrong time or said under the influence of lust. ‘I love you’ is a powerful phrase which should be said when its well thought out and you’re sure about your feelings for one another. Sex doesn’t define love. It’s only an action carried out even by those who aren’t madly in love with each other. So please enjoy the moment without trying to appear like you are lying to the other person. He or she might find your words offencive, insulting or irresponsible. #LetLoveLead rather than #LetSexLead.

2. Don’t Expect Calls and Texts

Last night was simply amazing! Magical! Explosive! Bla Bla Bla! Don’t expect him or her to call or text you the next day. Most ladies fall victims to this act. Why would you want him to check on you the next day? Is he in love with you? Is he your friend or best friend all of a sudden? Let him/her be! You both made the decision to catch some fun, not feelings. So why do you want to squeeze out friendship from a one night stand situation? Dumb!

3. Don’t Ask ‘What’s Next?’

Yes! The sex was great but it doesn’t mean something should or must come out of it. What if he/she just wanted to blow off some steam? Never ask him/her, “what’s next?” Leave him/her alone. Most times couples have sex on the first date without thinking it through (which is best) but it’s just that! Sex on the first date! Nothing more. Don’t expect anything after that night. Just keep an open mind and allow true feelings to take its course. Don’t try to pressure anyone into dating or having sex with you again. It’s unfair. Because some women/men force relationships out of such situations, most of them don’t last.

4. Don’t Expect a Love Relationship

Ladies fall prey to this quite often. When she has sex with you after boozing in the club or having a great conversation at the lounge, she starts looking at you as her boyfriend or BFF. No! Stop it already! Sex on the first date has nothing to do with you both dating. It was just sex. It happened! Let it be. If you want more from that first encounter, work your magic with dignity and style. I’m not saying people can’t fall in love after that sex but please don’t rush into it. Take your time, ask questions, know each other better, ask for a second date or simply tell him/her how amazing the sex was and if you want to have sex again. Keep your mind open to changes and don’t be bothered if he/she doesn’t call you again.

5. Don’t Leave Anything Behind

Most of my Cameroonian boyfriends tell me that girls deliberately leave behind their stuff after day 1 sex because they want to continue with a relationship. They tell me it’s cheap and irresponsible for the girl to do so. Ladies, you will come across as desperate and thirsty. When he wants you, he will be the one smuggling your stuff into his place. He will even give you a key. Guys hate seeing female pants dangling in their bathrooms… especially the ones forgotten. What if his real chick sees it? What if he doesn’t want a relationship after that first sex? What message are you trying to pass across? Don’t be fooled by his dick, you’re also ready to have a good time, even if its just once. Enjoy and walk away with a huge smile of satisfaction on your pretty face.

Again, there’s no shame in having sex on the first date. In fact it’s one of those sex sessions you would hardly forget. It’s usually quick, heated, passionate and gets our full attention. But, it also comes along with its own exceptions. My candid advice will be: DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING!

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If you want me to dig deeper into anything, send me an email: joan.ngomba@dcodedtv.com